KMxox13

i know that everyone loves being surprised at one point or another. but is there a possible bad side to surprises? why sure there is. i mean if u surprise someone so much that they have a heart attack thats bad. but that isnt my point.. im not trying to kill surprises.

surprises are great fun.. theyre fun to plan... fun to get .. and also loads of fun to see the reaction on the person's face to whom you surprised. right?

i think surprises however.. should not be told about in advance. its one thing to say i have a surprise for you but i cant keep it in any longer .. i got u the cd u wanted. but its a whole other thing to be like.. i have a surprise for u.. but im not telling you what or when you'll find out. and im not answering any questions about it.

i understand the object of suspence .. which might i tell you increases like crazy after that kinda statement. but it also gets me thinking... why did that person tell you they had a surprise for you and want you to not ask anything about it and wasnt gonna tell you a thing? its almost like one of the randomest statements at that point. because you can't start a convo about it without answering questions about it. right?

but yet ... its just another aspect that lets people love surprises even more. i know i love them... well i get frustrated quite a bit when i know theyre coming.. but i love them in the end. as im sure everyone can say.

the best things in life are worth waiting for.

so i was bored today in class and i started thinking about jealousy. its such an ugly word dont you think? its like they named it that because not only is the emotion ugly but so is the work.

well im not saying im currently jealous but im also not saying im not the jealous type, cause ill be honest, i am. very much so actually. lets see... i think there are like 4 mayb 5 girls i hated or do hate because they liked or do like my current boyfriend or past boyfriends.

i can think of at least 3 right now that i dislike hearing about them being around my boyfriend whatsoever. not that i dont trust him... its them i dont trust

but today in english (i swear i learn the most in that class) we read an article about love vs. infactuation. and it was really inspiring. the basics said that if you are in love you are willing to take things slow and wait for everything to happen, not rush into things thinking theres a chance of losing the other person's love. also with love you trust the other person and you dont have to worry about them being with other girls because you know they love you and theyre yours.

for awhile i was thinking about my crushes in the past and how i was always afraid when they talked to other girls because obviously there was a chance that other girls could take the guy before me. but i also realized that all of the things they said about love made sense for how i feel and act with my current boyfriend.

im not afraid to wait... i dont want to rush things.. i know that he loves... i can trust him when hes around other girls because 1) he doesnt really know how to flirt and 2) i know he isnt interested in any of them... and finally just the mere thought of knowing hes there for me whenever i need him makes me happy , he doesnt always have to be with me for me to think about him and smile

idk i thought the article was interesting... it was very insightful and very true. so i think everyone should think about those things before they say they love a person .. because for all you know it could b an infactuation.

today my teacher started a conversation that i thought went well w/ my last post.

he told us about how everyone said to seize the day and live life to the fullest. but his personal view was that you shouldnt live life on the edge because you could die tomorrow because then you could very well die tomorrow....

he said that it was best to enjoy the life youre living. instead of wishing the next 5 minutes would go by faster so you can leave school. if you do that ... like he said.. youre basically wishing your life away. and who wants to do that?

no he did not have anything against living on the edge that just wasnt the life for him. he was perfectly fine being a boring english teacher at a high school in a small little town in a small state. that was the life he enjoyed living.

so i agree... instead of wishing it was weekend so much.. or wishing class would go by faster or even wishing you were older to do certain things. take your time and wait for those things patiently bc b4 you know it you'll be 50 and wondering where all that time went. so dont waste life... love every second of it!

PS. Happy St. Patrick's Day to all those Irish and Non-Irish! =^)

so my newest quest is to find this answer... what is the meaning of life?

what happens when we leave this world?

          i know life still goes on because duh. plenty of people have died before and the world is still going. but whenever i think about it i cant seem to handle it. its like theres something inside of me that just cant cope with things happening after im "gone" .. i dont want to be gone. i want to stay here forever you know? i get this strange feeling when people talk about the "end of the world" and the earth blowing up and old age and dying and whatnot. it just mades me shutter inside and completely lose control of what i do. well i mean i dont go nuts or anything but i just shake and try to calm myself down (not always working).

      mayb thats the reason i hate history so much. cuz i cant stand wasting time on the past and knowing that those great men and women only had those years to live. that they have been gone ever since then. never to return. i wanna believe in recarnation but how can i believe in something that can never be proven right? i mean even when i die i cant prove it because nobody remembers past lives.

       when i was little and found out about the story of adam and eve i was so furious. i thought eve was the stupidest women to ever live. and thats all because my parents told me that sin and bad things entered the world when she ate the apple. bad things like death and war and disease. if it wasnt for her (I used to think) everyone would still be alive and nobody would ever die. i guess that was mostly because i had just recently had to cope with a very close family friend dying of lukemia then just a few years later i had to cope w/ my grandfather's death.

        to most people they think ... just live the life that you have to the fullest... but thats really hard when you have so much crap that needs to be done that you dont even want to do. plus while youre still a kid you have rules from your parents to listen to. how can i go out and have the best time of my life everyday, if my parents dont let me?

     two seniors at my school just died in a car crash. both their lives were taken before they even had the chance to experience college life and living on their own, having a family of their own, and having a real life job. i hate the thought that my life could end in high school that my life could be only a few years longer. im not strong enough to get through that i guess. or im just a scardy cat. one or the other.

      i guess for the most part i hate when people say their greatest fear is bees or spiders. what harm are they going to do to you? how can you not be afraid of the bigger picture.. like death... end to life... the world exploding... another ice age. there are so many things to be afraid of besides stupid insects that just bug you because you bugged them first.

     ill end with these words. never take what you have for granted and never regret anything you say or do... or dont say. say anything you want to when you want to .. because you never know when your life can end... or when it can be too late. you say youll do it tomorrow over and over... but what about when there is no tomorrow? never let things you want slip past you.. because you only get one life to live and you have to make it worth living.

Happy New Years everyone!!

2008 has officially started and aww 2007 is completely over =( so sad. that was a great year tho.. gotta say.. well besides my multiple head injuries and all that lovely stuff. but o well. hopefully 2008 will be twice as fantastic =D.

hope everyone had a great new year! start it off right =) not like me.. i started it off sick from who knows what... (not a hangover i can tell u that much) lol.